Tuesday 6 May 2014

In Which The Mortal Returns

Dear Diary,

Jack was back. Leanne was being brought down by my friends. Israel was going to talk to Vincent. And Vincent was done with me. He had seen to that when he broke into my home and I nearly killed him. Bile rose in my throat when I even thought about it. My fingers ached to wrap around his neck and snap it.

My brother watched me, pale and afraid, and I knew I would do anything to protect him. I had no idea how I would ever make this world look normal to him, to explain everything that happened, if I could tell him the truth about mom. Mom. My heart suddenly ached. I hadn’t looked back since that day, and hadn’t bothered to think of the repercussions. Now Jack was looking at me and I knew I’d have to answer him eventually.

And get him enrolled in school. And explain to dad where the hell he had come from. My head began to swim with all the work ahead of me. If Samael was around, I probably would’ve asked him. He had made the most bizarre things happen for Vincent. But there was one other person I knew who could make the past disappear and could make new students who were strange suddenly have a student number. I’d need to talk to Natalie.

I was about to dial her number when I heard Caleb approach. He saw Jack and smiled in a way that I knew meant he was happy for me more than anything. It made my heart hurt a little. He only wanted what was best for me and I had been taking advantage of him the entire time. Something about him just makes me feel safer.

He introduced himself to Jack and then said it was good to see my happy. I wiped away the tears from my cheeks and walked down and hugged him. He was warm and real and I suddenly felt the emotion coming from him. I could have drowned in it. He mentioned something about smelling guilty and I felt my anxiety rise. I didn’t want to talk about it. Not now. And not with Caleb. Not with anyone.

For once I just wanted to feel normal and loved and safe. I hadn’t felt any of those things in so long. Jack made some joke about leaving us alone. I told him to get in the house and not to let anyone in. Not anyone. To lock all the doors and only let me in. I couldn’t imagine losing him again, and so many things had tried to kill me in such a short time here.


Then Caleb and I went for a walk in the woods. It wasn’t long before I kissed him and I stopped fighting the needs inside me. The animalistic hate and rage mixed with lust and the need to just be a girl with a boy again. I just wanted to feel something other than the hate and he would give me that. That I used him for that, that I used his caring for me to get what I wanted… disgusts me. But I don’t know if I can stop. I felt alive again in a way I hadn’t in a long time. I felt almost human.

In Which A Boy's Life Reforms

Dear Diary,

Everything I’ve ever thought or felt about this life is in this diary. You hold everything. Literally everything. And Vincent’s journal held all of his past life. Part of me wanted to protect him from the truth, to hide what he was from him. He didn’t need to know everything. He just needed basics. And that he should stay away from me.

It took all my control not to choke him. But I couldn’t help but hit him. He always wanted me to be stronger, to be capable, to be a girl who wasn’t afraid. Well, I was her now, and he was the thing that went bump in the night. He tried to distract me, tell me my mom was alive. Hell, he even tried to hand me a card with a phone number to call to talk to her. I lost it. How dare he talk about her? I had told him when I broke up with him that if he came near my family I'd kill him. Threats were useless unless you meant them. And I knew I had meant it.

I just kept hitting him. I knew Leanne was just smiling and watching. She had probably planned this, but for some reason Vincent didn’t fight back. Tears slid down my face. I wanted to scream at him, but the sounds just stayed inside. Then something snapped inside of him and his demeanor changed. He turned and left, leaving the journals behind. I knew I had triggered something dark but I didn’t care. If I saw him again I would probably end up killing him. I didn’t want to. But I wasn’t sure I could control myself.

Then I turned to Leanne and asked her if she would bring my brother back. She asked for the bracelet first and I said no, not until Jack was back and human. Human was key. And then she shrugged and did it, just like that. Jack opened the door and walked outside like he had never left. My tears of rage became tears of relief. He was back. I had done it. Everything I had worked so hard for had paid off, finally. Something had gone right.

I ran and hugged him and tried to answer his questions as best I could. I told him mom was gone. But dad was still here. That we lived in Canada. I have no idea what it’ll mean that Jack’s back, but I don’t care. I gave Leanne her stupid bracelet and let her go to Chantel, where I knew a trap was waiting. I wasn’t going to go. I needed to stay with Jack. I need to protect him. I need to make sure he has a normal life now. There was so much to tell and not to tell. I didn’t know what to do. I knew I needed to talk to Chantel.


I sent her a text and then saw Israel drive by. I called him and we had an argument about Vincent’s journal. I finally agreed and handed him Vincent’s old journal. It’s on Israel then. He can be the one to answer for it all. I’m not responsible anymore. I’m not that Robin. I’m not that girl. I’m a new person now and she’s done with all this. It’s time to take care of my family and do whatever necessary to keep them safe. I can’t keep failing them.

Listen

In Which A Ghost Becomes a Friend

Dear Diary,

There’s always something eerie about school at night. By the time we got back into the city it was night. Chantel and I headed to the school. I kept texting Caleb but never got a response. Despite how I tried to show him I didn’t care, I was worried. Natalie was there. He had talked about how much he hated her and vampires in general. But Natalie was powerful and controlled her own house. It wasn’t as simple as Caleb thought. He just wouldn’t listen to me.

As we walked up to Caleb’s locker and Chantel tried to open it, Eve kept asking what we were doing. I tried to explain but I couldn’t really put it into words. How do you explain that he’s a werewolf and, like Vincent, too eager to hit things. I wonder what she’d say. She’d already seen me hit Vincent. I had to stop hurting him, but he just made me so angry every time I saw him. All I see is Samael, the grinning demon, welcoming me home to a broken place. I should’ve burnt the house down. But then where would Jack have gone?

Then Nate approached us. Chantel and I both knew he was a ghost, but seemed to both ask him leading questions. Eventually I decided to bite the bullet and just ask him questions, and then mentioned that Leanne could bring people back to life. We agreed to help him come back to life, after all, he’d been trapped at the school a long time. I wanted to help him. I wanted him to be normal, just like I wanted everyone to just be normal.

Finally Chantel decided we didn’t need the item of Caleb’s after I said he could be in trouble and Eve tried to break the locker open only to find she wasn’t quite that strong. Well, at least she’s human. Which means she needs to not be around us. I couldn’t help but sigh and then we decided to summon Leanne. All Chantel had to do was think about her and she was there. I told her I had my part of the deal and took her hand and we were gone.


I arrived at my house, hand in hand with Leanne, just in time to see Vincent coming down my walkway with my journal and his journal in his hands.

Monday 5 May 2014

In Which Another Plan is Created

Dear Diary,

Chantel. I thought Vincent’s name stirred my mind and heart at the same time. Chantel was the first real friend I had here. Vincent was my boyfriend. Chantel was my best friend. She knew about composing and Brown and the truth about Clarissa and why I did what I did. And she didn’t tell me to piss off. She helped me cure Vincent. She was there for mom’s funeral.

But since mom’s death we had drifted. It was my own fault. I couldn’t trust her anymore, not really, not after what had happened with Leanne. It made me think she would stab me in the back just to get an advantage. And the way she could convince people of anything if it had even a note of truth in scared me.

In the bathroom I told her what I wanted from her. That I wanted the bracelet. I wanted it to bring Jack back from the dead. Not my mom, Jack. Jack was the real family I had and he was the one whose death had been the most horrible. And he was a ghost. I had been trying to avoid him for so long because I was terrified if I spoke to him he’d disappear or something bad would happen to him. Everything I’ve become and been part of goes to hell when I get involved. It was safest to not let people know about Jack.

And then I told Chantel and she said yes. She agreed. We were going to give Leanne the bracelet and then turn Leanne mortal, so she couldn’t do anything with it. I wanted to cry. It meant so much to me that Chantel was willing to help. I had been so wrong about her. She was just as lost and confused as I am. I should’ve been a better friend. I promise I will be from now on.

She gave me the bracelet and we left the diner to see another fight breaking out in the parking lot. I couldn’t help but sigh. I was tired of Vincent being an idiot. And as he spoke he continued to just bark at people, like a yappy dog nipping at people’s heels. Then his mind reached out to mine. I could feel it, unrefined and harsh prodding, like his power was new. I’m not sure why, but I struck him. I yelled at him. He had to stay out of my head. And then his power backfired and he flew backwards out of my range.

I grabbed Caleb and Chantel and Israel and the new girl, Eve, and we left. I was done. I had what I needed and a plan. But then Caleb’s pack showed up and he nodded to them before he took off. I had a bad feeling about what was happening and part of me wanted to go with him to protect him. It isn’t my job really to keep him safe. He’s a werewolf. He can keep himself safe, but I wanted to. My own feelings worried me as I got in the car. I looked at Chantel.


Then she said we should go to school and get something of Caleb’s. To stop him from hurting people. I sighed. And agreed.

Sunday 4 May 2014

In Which A Rescue is a Waste

Dear Diary,

Caleb and I got in my car and raced to wherever the hell Vincent’s text said he was. My heart was racing and yet I felt strangely calm. I knew Natalie wouldn’t hurt him and he was likely over reacting, but that itching rage inside of me was pushing against the human. It wanted out. It wanted me to pull over and stab Caleb repeatedly, to kill Chantel, to destroy Ardath. It wanted to hunt the supernaturals around me and make bloody scenes of their death.

I had to concentrate to be able to drive. I’m not sure what’s happening to me, but I know I need to fight it. Maybe this is what they mean by the curse of the Hunter. Maybe I should have read the back of the cereal box before opening it and searching for its prize. But I didn’t and now I have the deadly weapons and power and these urges. I wonder if this is what serial killers feel like, the compulsion to kill battling within them for control.

As we arrived I took a deep breath, only to breathe in Caleb’s scent. Wild and woodsy, that hint of his beast within beneath the carefully groomed boy sitting beside me. I’ve become so used to his eyes on me that it doesn’t surprise me anymore when I see him gazing at me. I almost like it. There’s a kindness in him I haven’t seen in anyone else. I trust him. Honestly, I didn’t think I could trust someone again. But things are changing.

The house was fantastic to see as we pulled up. In quiet unison we got out of our vehicles and approached, only to see Vincent run outside from one of the buildings. I couldn’t help it. Bile rose in my throat as I saw him and yet my heart gave a jump. Would it ever feel normal to see him? He looked panicked and a girl walked behind him. And then he started barking orders. Same old Vincent.

The girl turned out to be a new girl named Eve. Or Galatea. Or something. We call her Eve. She’s strange in a weird way. I’m guessing home schooled but I’m not really sure. But she definitely seems to not understand high school. Or people. I’m going to guess she isn’t human, given the company she and her dad keep, but I can’t make judgment calls.


We left Natalie’s estate and went to a burger joint up the road. There Chantel and I left the arguing boys to go to the bathroom and I asked her about the bracelet and told her that Leanne wanted it. She reacted a lot better than I thought she would. Instead of being pissed she said she wanted to come up with a plan to make Leanne a mortal. And I said yes.